As part of Time To Talk Day, Wroxham Women’s Zoe Cossey gave an extremely powerful and personal interview to Ben Gilby about mental health, the importance of support networks and how it’s more than OK to ask for help when things are tough.
The impact of mental health is taking on ever more importance at the present time due to the impact of the coronavirus pandemic on people who are forced to remain at home and face all sorts of concerns about their families and employment.
As someone who has suffered myself with mental health difficulties in the past and came out the other end because of the excellent support of the NHS, it is hugely important to try and help other people. It’s all very well for people to say “Oh, I imagine it must be awful” – but unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine how awful it is.
This is something that Zoe Cossey, who plays for fifth tier Wroxham Women in the Eastern Region Premier Division can certainly identify with.
“I’ve struggled with my mental health for about three years now however I’m very lucky to have a great support network. I am now very open and honest with the fact I struggle with mental health, which I never used to be. I’ve had an incredible journey and I’m so happy with how far I’ve come, I’m very proud of myself for that.”
Zoe herself has extensive experience in women’s football despite being just 22 years-old. “I have spent the last sixteen years of my life playing football for teams like Waveney, Bohemians, Lowestoft Town, Ipswich Town and currently Wroxham Woman. I live with my boyfriend, my two step sons and we will be welcoming another little boy in June.”
She highlighted the importance of Time To Talk Day for helping others: “It is a fantastic initiative. It helps bring awareness, develops understanding and challenges ignorance. It encourages people to talk and listen about mental health. Talking is unbelievably important in the journey to battle mental health.
“This year has been unbelievably difficult for everyone, but it can be significantly amplified for people who struggle with mental health. Not being able to do our ‘usual’ things and so many restrictions to our days, it takes its toll on all of us. For me, I’m a very family orientated person. I can only describe seeing them like a comfort blanket and not being able to see my family has really had an effect on my mental health. That’s why it’s been so important to open up and talk. Learning new ways and becoming more adaptable. We learn through others, other people’s experience and that’s another reason I feel it is so important to talk.”
I mentioned to Zoe that through my own previous struggle with mental health, I was fortunate to have great support from my family and the NHS to come through the other end. However, I’m more than aware than this is something that not everyone else may be lucky enough to have. I wondered what advice Zoe would you give to people who may not have people immediately close by to touch base with.
“There is always someone to listen,” she highlighted. “In the moment you may feel like there’s not. But there’s always someone. Even if it’s not immediate family or friends. There are so many fantastic support lines if you don’t have someone immediately close. There is nothing at all to be embarrassed or worried about, I’ve used them and they were so caring and understanding. It’s hard to take that first step but It’s what they are there for. Use them to help you. It really can make the biggest difference to your mental health and perspective on all situations.”
With Zoe having played for several different clubs in her time in women’s football, I wanted to ask her from her experience what she found mental health support to be like in our sport.
“Personally it’s very different in a variety of places. It all comes down to management, teammates and the club. I cannot express the amount of love and support I’ve had from everyone at Wroxham. I’ve never felt ashamed or had to hide my worries. I’ve been able to be open and honest about my struggles and have been supported throughout them.”
However positive things are at Wroxham, there are always things that can be done to improve the situation further. Zoe was clear on how things can get even better: “I feel like the more support given to people, as well as the more informed people are, the less stigma there is around mental health. It’s a really hard matter to understand what it’s like until you’ve gone through it in some form. So never judge a person who struggles, because that judgement is the problem and a big reason people don’t open up. If you don’t know how to help just be kind. That’s it. Be nice. That one bit of kindness could change a person’s day drastically.”
“The provisions and support in place for mental health is improving every day. I wouldn’t say its spot on yet, but it’s absolutely heading in the right direction. That’s why initiatives like Time To Talk and additional government funding will make a significant difference.”
With children missing a lot of school at the present time and being denied sporting opportunities as well, I wanted to ask Zoe what she feels are the key priorities in developing mental health support for them.
“Mental health is talked about much more now than it ever has and whilst growing up children go through so much. So it’s essential all children feel supported and are fully aware of positive outlets for their thoughts and feelings. It’s important they know where they can go for support and who they are able to speak to. As well as this, children must be educated on techniques of how to cope with their feelings and emotions. Growing up can be difficult so it’s important they are educated on positive ways to deal with their emotions.”
“Children must know they are supported through everything also. They must know their thoughts, feelings and emotions will not be dismissed. There are so many people around to support and help them even if they don’t feel like they have with immediate family and/or friends. Ensuring children are aware of these support networks is absolutely vital in supporting the mental health of young people.”
“In regards to sports, playing competitively can be quite stressful and can cause anxiety for some people. It’s essential that children are supported and understood to allow them to grow and be successful playing sports. Sport and physical activity is proven to significantly improve a person’s mental health, providing it is in a caring, supportive environment. Always remember, player before the sport.”
We concluded our chat by finding out what Zoe’s plans were for Time To Talk Day: “I have completed a mental health first aid qualification and support some of my students at work.”
“I try to use my social media to share good ideas and personal experiences to support and talk about my mental health. I hope this helps just at least one person cope a little bit better or makes them smile in some way.”
It was an absolute pleasure to hear Zoe’s thoughts, she comes across as a true example of someone who is a fine role model for young women and girls both within and outside of football.
If you take one thing from this article, remember this piece of advice Zoe gave us when reacting to others: “Just be kind. That’s it. Be nice. That one bit of kindness could change a person’s day drastically.”
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